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Thursday, March 27, 2014

How to detect 'dingbats'? (Safety in modern dating)

Sometimes long term marriages fail. One partner is unwillingly pushed back into the world of 'singles'.
This recently happened to a relative of mine. The marriage had been long, not perfect, he was willing to work at it, but she wasn't.
Getting your toes wet in the dating pool, again, takes some courage.
Maybe a lot of things have changed, culturally, since you were last a swinging single?
(Or maybe you are like me, and never really were?)
There are some nice and interesting people you can meet out there, and some real nutcases.
I've learned a lot about digging for info on the internet, with my avocation of chasing scammers. Some of these things apply to real life.
My relative has just started trying online dating, via one of the very commercial, heavily advertised dating sites, that like to throw the word 'God' around.
He asked me to see what I could find out about one lady he was interested in. She was attractive, local, and of an appropriate age.
Most real people are too enthralled with the internet! They leave too much information about themselves, scattered all about the 'net. In this case, it turned out to be good that this person likes the 'net. It took a few seconds to do a search on Spokeo, and you could see this lady was not exactly wrapped too tight.
As my relative said, 'She's a dingbat!'
(A short phone call with the lady confirmed this.)
Sometimes, Spokeo is good for things like this, it will help you uncover blog posts, facebook accounts, social network profiles, pictures, and more.

Search anybody by name, e-mail address, phone number, online username or even friends in your address book and instantly return lots of info.

If you are using online dating, or even just dating in general, Spokeo is a handy tool. You're not snooping, you are not getting access to things the person did not post on the 'net, publicly, but it may be something they forgot about, or something they conflicts with what they are telling you now, or how they are presenting themselves, now.
Another few tips: Get one of those lowcost, pre-paid cellphones, and use that number to give to new people you meet on dating sites. You can go on Amazon.com and pick up a 'Blu' phone, and pre-paid sim card, for under $30. Do you really need some dingbat you chatted with once, calling your 'real' phone?
Use a new, 'throwaway' email account for contact with new people. (Yahoo, Gmail, Hotmail, etc.)
If the person is local, be very careful about giving out where you work, or live, until you have met them a few times in a neutral, safe place.
People will hand you the tools to do some checking. The phone number, email address are all easily searched. You can even learn to use google image search to see where else 'those' pictures show up on the 'net. (Do they have other dating site profiles)
Be smart! Be safe! There are some good people on the 'net, you may be able to find one.

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