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Saturday, January 7, 2012

So you're looking for a Chinese bride online? Warning

There are the normal scams involved in online dating with Chinese ladies, as well as some unique quirks, or problems.

There is a large number of West African scammers living and working in China, particularily South China, and most commonly the Guangdong province.    They register on dating sites and pretend to be white or asian, men and women, with the intention to scam members of that site.

There are no free lunches available on the internet.   The hot young girl you meet online is not going to magically arrive at on your doorstep to hump  your middle-aged or older, bones into eternity, when you send her money.    If you have a 'chinese' lady who is more than 15-20 years younger than you are, interested in you.  Be suspicious.  The Chinese generally adhere to a fairly firm age gap.

Single, normal ladies from Asia usually can't get tourist visas to Western countries, no matter what they tell you online.   (Don't send money fro visa and travel expenses)

There are webcams, everywhere.  In most internet cafes, on most laptops now.  There is always one 'somewhere'.   Do not accept 'sorry,no webcam'.   You need to see 'that face' on cam, and more than once.   Even if you see 'that face' on cam, don't send money!

China has an active network of marriage agencies, or 'translator/brokers'.   You may email or chat with a lady for months, and actually be in contact with an agency or translator/broker.
You may arrive in China to meet the lady who has written the gushing emails, to find she speaks no english, doesn't exist, or only was shown your picture by the agent or translator who has actually been writing the emails, an hour ago.

Beware of Interlingvo/gagamatch dating sites.   These are a network of fraudulent dating sites that only exist to make money by charging men for translations of fake emails, from fake Chinese 'hotties'.   The girls are all fake, many of the pictures are of celebrities and models.
Don't be an idiot.  Men have spent thousands of dollars before they wised up. 

Are you really willing to go to China to meet a nice lady, if you bump into a real one, online?
Research the culture a bit.


If you meet a real Chinese lady, particularily one of modest means, she may be helping to support her parents.  
Are you willing to accept this responsibility if you marry her? 
Many western men are willingly taken advantage of by these 'support' situations, and the support ends up dramatically increasing the lifestyle of the parents and family, or providing a hidden nest egg fot the bride, if the marriage fails, or she bails out at a pre-determined point.
  How much was the lady providing to the parents, and how much is she asking you to provide?
  The difference in amounts can be an eye opener.

Look at some of the larger, paid dating sites for Chinese ladies.     Do a search for Chinese ladies in your country.  If you get a chance to talk to them, you'll notice a high percentage of them do not speak or write the language of the country they came to as a bride, and divorced as soon as they could leave the husband who brought them there, and still stay in that country.
Sadly, many I talked to in the US, were having difficulty surviving with little language skills, but were reluctant to go home to China.    I'm not saying all Chinese ladies intend to bail out of the marriage as soon as they obtain residency in the new country, but many do.
Be careful.   Yes, many of the marriages fail for normal reasons, the guy can be a jerk, or they just don't get along.

PAID dating sites do not offer much more safety or security.   There are many scammers on PAID dating sites.    I'm currently working on a project with several other scambaiters where we are baiting on PAID dating sites.   I'm amazed at how you get very little for your money in the way of safety from scammers.   This is inexcusable. 

   There is help.   You really need to do your homework, and keep your emotions in check when searching for a bride, online.    I strongly suggest you read the information at http://www.dragonladies.org/

Never send money to somebody you only know from the internet, or phone calls.

4 comments:

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