Basic Internet Dating safety

My background as a scambaiter, webmaster of an anti-scam site, and contact with scam victims has allowed me to formulate some very basic guidelines for safe online dating.

Safeguard your personal details!
There is no reason to let a stranger you met on the internet know your full name, address, phone number and other details that may fully identify you
If you are online hoping to meet somebody different, and special, you need to be sparing with your personal details, and only lower your guard a bit after you can independently verify who this person is.
Real people who may care about you will understand.

Use a 'throwaway' email address for contact with unknown or new friends.
Some people turn out to be jerks, and if you are online, you are prone to run into them, as well as scammers.
If you use a 'throwaway' email address, (Easily obtained Gmail, yahoo, hotmail account you don't use with known friends, family or personal business) you can easily close or ignore that account, if or when you run into a problem person.
If you were careful, and did not give them other means of contacting you, you are safe, and they are gone.
You can also consider using SKYPE or a prepaid calling card to avoid exposing your cell or home phone number to a stranger.

You don't know who you are really in contact with on the internet!
You may run into a jerk, pervert, scammer, or that 'single' person you are interested in, is actually married.
PICTURES alone do not establish who you are really in contact with!
Scammers frequently use stolen pictures of people ranging from supermodels, to ordinary joes, and claim to be 'that' person.
Demand to see a face on webcam, and often, (More than briefly, and a few times) before you let your guard down, a bit.
Remember, it's also very easy to feed a recording of a person, over a webcam, making it appear that the person is 'live', on webcam.
You'll have to be careful to spot this. Scammers are using recordings over cams more frequently. Pay attention to the clothing the person wears, the room setting, and the lighting. Is it appropriate for the time of day for where they claim to be? Are they wearing the same clothes for every cam session? Do they only sit and smile at you, and maybe wave, occasionally?
Spotting a 'fake' webcam can be easy sometimes, difficult, others.

Your webcam may be recorded by the person viewing it! I do it all the time to document scammers!
Scammers do it all the time to collect footage of people to use in scams.
Do you really want your image, fed over a webcam, to scam people?
There are also increasing BLACKMAIL scams, where a person is coaxed into appearing nude, or performing sexual acts by a scammer, who has professed love and a desire for a real relationship with the victim.
The nudity and/or acts are recorded, the recording later played back for the victim and demands for payments of large sums of money are made, or they video will be sent or played for friends, family and co-workers.
This is happening frequently on FACEBOOK, where the scammer becomes a 'friend', and then has access to the other friends on your list.
KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON WHEN THE CAM IS ON!

Google or do other searches, on the email address any new friend you have met online gives you, as well as any phone number they give you.
Search anybody by name, e-mail address, phone number, online username or even friends in your address book and instantly return lots of info.
I use Spokeo, and recommend it!

West African scammers pretend to be anyone, both sexes, any race...but they have some persistent tidbits they use in 'stories', and some quirks in the english they use.
If all the 'white' people I've run into online, were actually in Africa, or had to go to Africa for a job or an emergency, there would be no room left for real 'Africans'!
People who travel the world for work or business do not need strangers to rescue them by sending them money by Western Union!
There are webcams everywhere. Most laptops produced in the last few years have them built into them. Internet Cafes are everywhere, even in third world countries.
'Sorry, I don't have a cam' or 'I am in rural area, no cams' is bullcrap!
If they have the means to be online, there is a cam, somewhere.

Never send money to somebody you only know from the internet, or phone calls!
There is no way around this. Nobody you are in contact with from the internet is actually going to die for lack of medical treatment, or is being held hostage by an angry Hotel keeper, due to a stolen wallet and unpaid bills.
One of my favorite stories is one the West African scammers use with stolen pictures of pretty girls, who they claim have gone to Africa for 'model shoots' or some other temporary employment.
The 'girl' will claim her passport and money have been stolen, and the person who brought them to Africa has abandoned them.
"I have no money and am afraid! Please help me! The hotel won't let me leave until I can pay my bill!"
When you ask to see them on cam.....
"I'm sorry, I can only use the computer in the lobby, and there is no cam. PLEASE HELP ME!"
Later you will get an email that says something like....
"PLEASE HELP ME!! THERE ARE MEN WAITING IN THE HALL OUTSIDE MY ROOM AND I THINK THEY ARE GOING TO RAPE ME!"
What happened to the only computer she can use, is in the Lobby? Did 'she' climb out of a window to sneak to the lobby, to use the computer to send this email?
If so, why the hell doesn't 'she' just sneak away from the hotel?
Because it's a scam, she is fake, you are a fool, if you fall for it and send money.

Don't cash or deposit checks or money orders for somebody you only know from the internet!
Sometimes, your 'international businessman/traveler' will claim he did some work in your country, and has some uncashed checks to take care of.
The checks or money orders are fake, or may be funds scammed from other victims.
Usually you are asked to forward the proceeds from these checks to the scammer, by Western Union.
If the checks are fake, you will be on the hook for the funds payed out, and may be prosecuted.
If the checks are real, you are essentially participating in 'money laundering', and may be prosecuted.
The same fake checks and money orders may appear in a 'work from home' scam. You may answer a classified ad, or email that offers a job, 'processing payments'.
The scammer is far away, and safe from prosecution. Guess who is easy for find and prosecute? You!

Are you suspicious about who you are in contact with? Do you have questions about internet romance scams?
Romancescam.com can help you with internet romance scams, from the former Soviet Union, and West Africa.
This will include most white or black, men or ladies you suspect may be fake, or trying to scam you.
Dragonladies.org can help with female internet romance scammers, from Asia.

Spokeo, find personal info online fast

Spokeo is a tool I have used for years in scambaiting, and personal research.
It helps you find info online about anyone who has a presence, online.
The cost is modest, and I highly recommend it!

Search anybody by name, e-mail address, phone number, online username or even friends in your address book and instantly return lots of info.

Spoofcard, a handy tool for baiting, and personal use

SPOOFCARD lets you 'spoof' a phone number when you are calling somebody, as well as record the phone conversation!
I use it on my Blackberry for scambaiting purposes, when I need to call a scammer. This lets me choose a phone number that will be displayed to the scammer, hide my real number, and record the conversation.
In personal life you can use it to call those people or entities you don't want to expose your real number to, and record the call, if you wish.
Please check for local laws regarding use of this service, and I am not advocating illegal use of SpoofCard!

Are you looking for a Filipina wife, online?

The Philippines is both home to some of the hardest working people in the world, as well as a large number of scammers. The Philippines is the third major source of internet scams, along with the former Soviet Union countries, and countries in West Africa.

Here are some suggestions for weeding out the 'problem' ladies, and avoiding scams:

NEVER send money to somebody you only know from the 'net, or phone calls. NEVER!
A common scam via chat or email from the Philippines are 'emergency' type scams.
'I need money for rent'
'I need money for the electricity'
'My mother needs an operation'
'My sister needs medicine'
'A typhoon destroyed my house'
'I have no money for food'

and so on....

The internet is not free, or computers, also, in the Philippines. If the filipina has money to use an internet cafe, or money to support a home PC with internet connection.....she is not starving!
Some filipinas earn a living, or pick up spending money doing this. Don't be a chump!
A lady who hits you up for money, often in the first chat, or within the first few chats, is not serious about landing a western Husband.

Expect and demand to see a face on webcam!
You are going to feel pretty stupid when you find out you expressing love for a gay man, ladyboy, or a dumpy pinay housewife with 5 kids, who are using stolen pictures of a cute, younger lady, aren't you?
It is also possible, and more common, for scammers to feed a recording of a pretty lady over the webcam, you need to learn some tricks to detect this.
The messageboard at Dragonladies.org can help you!

Look for a Filipina with a 'normal' job.
This means she is not online day and night, (the internet is her job, right?) and is less likely to hit you up for money. Likewise, avoid the ones online, too much.
Be aware this is no divorce in the Philippines.
There is only annulment, which is costly. Some filipinas are online, hoping some western man will foot the bill. Sadly, the cost of an annulment is equal to a year or more of average wages in the Philippines, and the proceedings don't always end well. There are some very nice 'separated' ladies, but be careful, and think hard before you help them with annulment costs.
It's not uncommon for a husband in the Philippines to abandon a wife and family, and start another.
It's also not uncommon for the missing husband to reappear when he finds out the wife has a western suitor, and there may be adultery charges, or bribes to face. Be warned! It's not fair for the ladies, but it's not our country, and we can't change it.

Don't fall in love with a porn site 'cam girl'.
This almost always ends up in trouble. They make a living at manipulating men. You may think you are 'rescuing' her from a sordid life, but too often, they don't really want to be rescued. Many are married or have a boyfriend they don't tell you about..as well as children. Some will take you to a cleaners, coo lovingly at you on cam, and in emails, and laugh behind your back, while handing the money you sent them, to the real husband or boyfriend.

So you want to 'help' her financially, or her family?
This is another problem area, and even some 'good' girls can get out of hand.
Don't consider giving any money until you have met in person.
If you are in a serious relationship, that will lead to marriage, then you can consider helping with a modest amount.
Be warned, a western boyfriend or husband is considered to be a family asset. 'Family' will come out of the woodwork wanting handouts, or financial help.
This is somewhat cultural, but abused when a 'kano' is involved.
You need to be aware of the real income, and living expense where the girl lives, and not be taken advantage of.
The girl and family were probably not starving before you met her, It is nice to help the family with a modest amount of money, and expected of you to replace the money she was earning and sending to the family, but be careful.
This is not being 'cheap'. You can't buy love, but too often one of the problems in a western/filipina marriage or relationship, is the outstretched hands of the extended family.

Paid dating sites don't seem to be any safer.
I suggest you use 'free' dating sites, but with caution, and be prepared to walk away from a 'problem' lady.
Datingnmore.com is a safe, free site, run by an anti-scam expert, and has an array of real, asian ladies.
I suggest you try datingnmore.com!

Keep the age gap reasonable!
Yes, you will see old men with young filipinas, and you will be told it is culturally acceptable. Actually, it's culturally 'understood'.
The old man means money, and maybe will be a prized new member of a poor Pinoy family, as long as the money lasts.
Research the procedures for getting a Visa for the lady to your country, and don't get tricked by 'visa' scams, or shortcuts.
In the USA, you will need to meet the lady in person, before you can apply for a visa for her.
Some scams surround taking 'shortcuts' to a visa...avoid these.
'I can come there on a tourist or business visa....and we can marry'.
Illegal, improbable, and you are setting yourself up for a scam, or severe problems with Immigration.

If you are a US Citizen, marriages or prospective marriages between a Man and a much younger filipina, are screened more seriously at the Consulate in Manila.

Let's look at this realistically...how long do you think a 20 year old Filipina is going to stick around in a marriage to a 60-70 year old man? How long will listening to her sing along with 'Justin Bieber' off key be charming?
Many young asian 'brides' come to the USA, and meet with abuse at the hands of the older husband, and or lose interest in the old man as soon as they get a green card.

Green card scams

They're hard to avoid. Some Filipinas willingly seek out 'marriages of convenience' and pay $20-30000 US, just to get legal residency.
Do you want to be an easy way for some enterprising Pinay to get a green card?
It's possible for her to claim abuse, and be home free for a green card on her own, (Without your help) almost as soon as she lands in the US on a K1 or married visa.
There are more provisions and loopholes that help the foreign bride, than the US Citizen husband, and many of them know every one of them.
I'm not condoning abuse of the lady, or abuse of the US Citizen husband. Both need to be careful!

One reason for my work as a 'scambaiter' over the years is to help real and decent people. I'm happy when two people meet via the bizarre mess we call the internet, and move on to live a happy life together.

The internet allows us to meet new and maybe exotic people we'd not normally have a chance to. Use it carefully!

Check out Dragonladies.org for more help with 'Asian' online dating, and scams!

Are you looking for a Chinese wife,online?

Chinese women are generally attractive, feminine, and age well, and there are many on online dating sites. For the purposes of this blog entry, I am only referring to ladies actually in China, not ladies in other countries, of Chinese race.
Many men have the fantasy of finding an asian 'mail order' bride. One who is younger, pretty, and generally submissive.
I'm afraid this fantasy has lead to the abuse of some asian ladies, as well as scams and fraud of the wife seeker.

Here are some of the real scams, fraud, and problems you face if you are seeking a 'Chinese' bride, online.

'Pay for Play' dating sites: sites that charge you for membership, and every communication with the lady, and restrict communication with the lady, to internal means, on the site. (For which you will be charged for...) Asianbeaties.com, and the various Chinalove sites are some examples of this type of site.
Do you realize many of the ladies are fake? Many men have paid hundreds to thousands of dollars to correspond with a beautiful lady, only to finally realize something isn't right.
You may even pay to chat with cam, or talk on the phone to a pretty lady, and often, that lady is fake, or somebody getting paid to talk to you. (To ring up more payments from you.)
These sites also depend on independent 'agencies', which may be a small office in a Chinese city, offering 'marriage broker' services to local ladies. Many of these agencies use fraud as a tool to make money as a marriage 'broker'. They'll post fake profiles of 'fake' ladies, and collect fees for the messages men send to her.
A common tactic for the agency that has some 'real' ladies, hoping to marry a western man, is a 'bait and switch' tactic.

They will post profiles of pretty girls on these dating sites, let the man believe he is in contact with that pretty lady, and urge him to come to China to meet her.
When he arrives to meet her, he is told 'she change her mind' and he is conveniently offered (usually) an older and less attractive lady, who is often tagging along with the 'agent' when she meets the man at the airport. (who is expecting to be met by the smiling cutie he has been writing love letters to for months, and has paid thousands of dollars to correspond with, and 'meet'.)

While there are probably some nice ladies using these agencies, who are serious about a real marriage with a nice man, there are also reports of men being introduced to virtual prostitutes, thieves, and gold-diggers, upon arrival.
So, you've paid a lot of money to correspond, and eventually meet this lady...does the money flow end?

OK, let's assume you have been lucky enough to meet the actual lady from the dating site you were emailing? It's fairly common for the prospective groom to be lead about town, on expensive shopping trips, with the lady accumulating a mountain of 'gifts'.
You'll have little personal discourse with her, but you will become very familiar with the more expensive shops in town.
You may be able to share a bed with her at night, but don't count on it.
Some of these ladies are actually married! In Russia and the Ukraine they are known as 'pro daters'.

You will also be presented with 'agency' or 'translator' fees, in addition to some demand for money or a large gift for the parents.

You may be coaxed to buy a house or apartment for the parents, or one for your future use, with your 'bride'. Guess what? The house will not be in your name, and you will have no ownership rights, or means of recourse, if/when the marriage or engagement falls through.

Another form of 'Fake' chinese lady, online, are the fake profiles set up by West African scammers, who live in China! Yes! The 'Nigerian' scammer most of us are familiar with, is present in China!

West Africans go to China for business and education opportunities, and some go intentionally to Scam. Many end up overstaying the easily obtained visas, and struggling to survive. Some end up doing internet scams.

Right now, we have a serious problem with West African scammers pulling romance scams, from within China, primarily the Guangdong province.

These scammers set up many profiles for 'Asian' ladies on dating sites, with a profile age of 28-35, usually residing in South China, (Primarily Shenzhen, or Guangzhou) working a low level or menial job, and have no children.
The fake single lady is usually Chinese, or Filipina, and is attractive. The pictures they use are stolen.
They will not show a face on cam, but sometimes will talk to the victim on the phone.
The lady is not the lady in the pictures, but a local girl paid to talk on the phone, or a girlfriend of the scammer.
They'll generally ask for 'visa and travel' money, and claim they are en route to meet the victim, and need money to make, or continue the trip.

Of course...nobody shows up. The girl is fake. The thousands of dollars the man has sent..is gone.

Read this forum at Dragonladies.org for more information on 'Chinese' visa and travel scams

What if you manage to find a 'real' chinese lady, online, and maybe not from one of the 'problem' dating sites?

There still is a danger of a 'Green Card' scam...

Many Chinese still want to come to the USA, or other Western countries. They will pay $20-30,000 to be smuggled, or for 'fake' marriages to obtain residency or citizenship in a more affluent country. That is a lot of money for most people in China! Why not let some gullible man bring them there?

Please don't misunderstand me, I am not trying to paint all Chinese ladies as devious, plotting, and greedy. The situations I list are factual.
I list these problems with hope you avoid these scammers, and find a real, decent, Chinese woman, if that is what you are seeking.

How do I avoid these scams?

Never send money to somebody you know online, or via phone calls. This includes buying plane tickets, or paying for emergencies. NEVER.

Demand to see a face on webcam, and often. If they won't comply, something is wrong, no matter what excuse they give you. Dump them.

Avoid 'paid' dating sites, or any dating site you are restricted to communicating with the lady, using internal site methods. 'Pay for message' is a dead end, and fraught with fraud. The fees you pay provide a good income to the site, as well as crooked people, and fraudulent agencies.

Research the city and area she lives in, and are you really willing and able to go meet her?

Flush whatever misconceptions or fantasies you have about 'mail order brides' out of your mind.

No lady you meet online, and send money to, is likely to show up on your doorstep.
Familiarize yourself with the real visa procedures for your country. Scammers often use preposterous to impossible methods they claim will get them to your country...unrealistic methods, time frames, and sometimes even they will provide a link to a totally fake 'visa and travel' website....they set up!

Learn how to search images via Google. Many scammers use stolen pictures, often of Asian celebrities. They also re-use pictures, and there may be a scam report with this picture, online, already.
Google the email address!!!! Very important! Yes, the scammers often create new email addresses, but it's also common for them to use the same email address for months. There may be a report online about that email address being used in a scam.

Keep the age gap reasonable. For china, 10-15 years is the max.

Communicating with a lady who does not speak any english sets you up for problems. If she is not able to communicate now, and not willing to learn, you face some real problems. Many ladies in China know some english, are willing and capable of learning.
Do not send money for 'english lessons'. Meet the lady first. There are often free or inexpensive 'English' lessons available in China. English is important in China, for business, and is the gateway to higher pay and good jobs.

I suggest you visit and read the information at DragonLadies.org

Please be aware that real, middle-aged Chinese ladies you meet online are also plagued with scammers, a lot of game players, and perverts.
When you meet a real one online, be patient, honest, and polite.
You may need to ask politely several times, and build some trust, before she shows a face on cam, but please, don't let this trust period extend beyond a few chats or emails.
I wish you luck, and happiness.

Find anybody's photos, videos and blogs instantly. You may be surprised!

Safety on dating sites

I troll a few large dating sites, 'scambaiting', and occasionally helping real people with 'scammer problems".
I bumped into a nice lady the other day on a large, free, dating site. Her tactic to avoid scammers, was to restrict contact to the methods available within that dating site....embedded chat, and email.
I tried to explain to her that this was a mistake. You can't really determine who are what you are in contact with if you only use 'internal' methods for that site, whether it's a dating site, or facebook.
Why?
When you use 'internal' site contact methods, you lose the ability to check many things...google an email address, and check the IP in an email header that person may send you.
Much of the same goes for people you only know via 'Messenger' type chat, or Skype.

Many scammers know that they can be detected by email, and confine contact to chat, where it is not easy to see an IP of where they are at.
How can you sniff out a scammer, or tell something is very wrong?
You want to be able to check an IP, via an email they send you, to see if they are where they claim to be.
Many West African scammers will claim to be somewhere they are not. In many situations, checking the email headers, will show they are not where they claim to be.
So? You are thinking, 'why does he tell me this? I'm never going to send money or fall in love with a fake person!'
Millions of internet scam victims have thought the same thing!
The longer you maintain contact, even casual contact, with a scammer, the more likely it is you will believe or accept the story they tell, and the identity they claim. You begin to accept....
Make sure you see a live face on cam
Avoid people who will not email you, but only want to 'chat'
Use a disposable email account for contact with unknown people, and be prepared to abandon it
Never give out personal details to strangers, your home phone, address, where you work...
Never send money to somebody you only know from phone calls, or the internet!
Learn to be careful online, and protect yourself. Most social networks and dating sites don't really care about you, or do much to protect you. You must do it. Reverse Email Lookup

cutieame2g11@yahoo.com Ghana SCAM

My name is Ametorwu But you can call me Tazir, I am 32 years Old, I am Single with hazel eyes, 5' 9", 120 lbs.,Long Hair and a healthy Lady.Am from Ghana and in Ghana now, Do you know Ghana and have you talk with someone from Ghana before, Well do you have any problem about where am from.. I am self-sufficient, Beautiful, happy, secure, self-confident, psychologically aware, emotionally.Am a student and study nursing in Ghana.. I am Living with my Uncle,mother and a Younger Brother in a Logging house, I am a Ghanaian Both My Parent and Ghanaian I have been In Ghana all My life i am a Hard working lady and very friendly.I have no Kids and Never Married.My Late Father passed away when i was Only 15 years Old well I will say my Father was the Best man i have ever Loved he is so caring,loving,God fearing,respectful and responsible father but i trusted and Believe in God and I know God is Doing is Things In his Own way. I have learn To be a Strong woman From My Father hard working i lost my late father When i was schooling. I have been In a Relationship which end up 2 years Ago because the guy was very unfaithful it has Cost me a lot Of pain and i am now Looking for a Loving God fearing and Responsible man To settle down with that is why i am Here So If you Interested Let get and know More about each other. In any good relationship, there should be trust, communication, understanding, and honesty. Life is a precious gift from God, and it should be lived with love and joy. I enjoy various activities. I can bowl, skate, swim, play chess, checkers, draw, bike riding, a little fishing and crabbing, a little golf, have tried tennis, camping, sports etc. It does not matter.. I am a very average versatile person, and not hard to please. I enjoy the complex as well as the simple things in life.You looking handsome and wonderful in the pic.Hope you like mine to.. Well age is just a number to me.Hope to hear from u soon... Bye For Now Ame.

prettyame200012@gmail.com cutieame2g11@gmail.com

countrylove01 on connectingsingles Claims to be in NYC cutieame2g11@gmail.com cutieame2g11@yahoo.com prettyame200012@gmail.com

Good day How are you doing today my name is Ame and am 32 years of age single with no kids and never married before. I am a active young lady, with a good sense of humor. I'm looking for a man who will share his interests with me and will let me tell him about my interests.. if you interested in getting to know me you can email me or add me on YM at cutieame2g11 at yahoo dot com....i will be waiting to hear from you and also chat with you... cutieame2g11 Y A H O O . C O M.. cutieame2g11(@y*a*h*o*0*.*c*o*m) OR GMAIL prettyame200012@gmail.com Am on line now.....

milli6015@yahoo.com SCAMMER

West African scammer using a proxy. milli6015@yahoo.com

WARNING! 'Visa and travel' scams from Guangdong, CHINA

I keep running into major pockets of these scammers on dating sites. These scams are conducted by West African men, who are residents of the Guangdong Province of China. Primarily they are in the city of Guangzhou, and Shenzhen, and Dongguan. The profiles they set up will indicate the lady is in these cities, or generic area. She will be an asian lady, (Chinese, Filipina, or other) 28-35 years old, Single, no children, and working a domestic, meniall or minor administrative job. (Nanny, caretaker, tutor, salesgirl, clerk, administrative assistant, etc) The girl will be mildly attractive, to pretty. The scammers have multiple pictures of the girl. They usually will have an excuse to not show a face on cam. (Broken, no time to go to cafe, boss is strict, etc) Occasionally they will use a recorded loop of a girl over a webcam, but for short durations. They do have 'Asian' females helping them, usually to talk on the phone. The girl will profess love too quickly, in a few emails, and will want to travel to meet the victim if the victim pays for the trip and visa, via a FAKE 'visa and travel' agency. The emails are sweet. They are possibly 'scripts', like the 'Russian' scammers use. (the same email goes out to many men) The 'Visa and travel' agency will have a website you can look at, but it's a FAKE agency site, set up by the West African scammers. You may also be asked to email or phone an 'agency representative'. You will be emailed a real looking travel itinerary, assorted bills and invoices, but they are FAKE, and no girl will arrive at your local airport, if you fall for this SCAM. They are also doing some other '419' scams via these dating site profiles, as well. Make sure you see a face on cam, and if the girl is in love too quickly....something is not right. NEVER SEND MONEY TO SOMEBODY YOU ONLY KNOW FROM THE INTERNET. Research the REAL 'visa and travel' procedures for your country, and remember, 'poor' asian people do not get visas easily to western nations. Dragonladies.org can help you avoid these scams! Check this forum at Dragonladies for examples of this scam.

lovelinda901@gmail.com malwine.norgbey@yahoo.com

Another GHANA Scammer, using stolen pictures of 'Julie'. Her pictures are in heavy use by various scammers, and she is well aware of it, and trying to inform people about the problem. lovelinda901@gmail.com malwine.norgbey@yahoo.com YulianaRomancescam.com

Remember, never send money to somebody you only know from the internet, or phone calls.